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Analysis Paralysis

by Ren Stedman

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1.
bones that don’t fit and a heart got rejected the whites in her eyes as the windows reflected and locks on the door and emergency exit she’s paying for a mind that used to be so similar to mine. waking and pacing the halls that were painted colours that calm all the thoughts that were making you fall off the edge of the problems you’re facing she’s paying for a mind that used to be so similar to mine. And in the light of day light only shines over problems you’ve made and things won’t be the same you’ll only get worse as the drugs hit you harder each day after day after day after day after day. signatures documents people who say that the woman in room 24 is insane she’s bruising her knuckles so they look the same colour as her eyes when he told her that she was to blame. speaking in riddles and rhyming in tongues the weight grabs a grip on her spine and her lungs she stares into space where she thinks that she’s from and the nurse calls her name to give meds so her head can be numbed. button up just shut it up just don’t say a word if you say anymore you’ll be straight for the hospital ward
2.
Get Better 03:37
I used to live for days like these waking up at half past 3 and crawling in when your alarm would speak. I guess perhaps I’m growing up Or maybe I’ve just seen enough Of people going downhill rapidly. and from the day that you met me I’ve only been selfless once or twice and though you tried hard to change me the truth is I’ve been selfish all my life. So call me what you want but at least I can be honest with myself I know I used to hold a front and when I needed it I wouldn’t take the help but I am changing how I think and I am trying to change everything and I hope that you can get better as well. I lost my friends or let them go in honesty I wouldn’t know cause half the time I drank too much to see If they had just got bored of me and all my bullshit misery and all the extra bullshit I would speak and from the day that you met me I’ve let almost everyone down and when the cops came to take me you thought I would turn things around and if you’re feeling lost like me just know I’m trying desperately but sometimes you’re your own worst enemy I am my own worst enemy.
3.
Some things just won’t fit right but it’s not your fault this time I stay awake all night with company of thoughts of mine and I bruise my knuckles and my brain repeat the action act the same and my bones fill with heavy weights and while I’m waiting for the rain to come again my spine proceeds to bend is this the end is this end for me? I gave up on pretending I can just predict the ending and these sweats at night will drown me like the rain that we just knew would come again. I’m a coward, caught me out substances to ease my doubt that skies will clear and somebody might hear me shout. bottle up and drink it down alcohol and months without a purpose that is worthwhile to keep me here now

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released April 4, 2017

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Ren Stedman Southend On Sea, UK

Ren Stedman, he's the acoustic guy who looks metal, has a buzzing vocal, plays from the marrow of his bones and will rip your heart out with his honesty. A fierce, fable wielding force of acoustic punk poetry.

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