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The Art of Self​-​Destruction

from The Half​-​Arsed Defeat by Ren Stedman

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    This is my second album - another DIY home grown and home recorded suitcase of songs that I've been carrying around festivals over this past year.

    Some songs you'll have heard me playing live a lot in fields and around campfires and some songs are ones that I've sat on for a year and let them grow into new versions of themselves.

    Either way, I hope you like what you hear and that some of the songs can can give you the same comfort they did to me when I wanted to hide in my wardrobe when everything else felt too difficult.

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  • Full Digital Discography

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    releases

    Get all 16 Ren Stedman releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of #lovewins, conversations with a racist, The Half-Arsed Defeat, Festival Friends, Problems, Fiction, Drug Induced Dreams, State Of Unfair, and 8 more. , and , .

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lyrics

Well it’s been 3 months since I felt home
The beds un maid the curtains drawn
I clawed out all the walls to try to leave
My thoughts alone and not provoke
A turning point that starves the urge to cope
Tell my friends that I’m sorry I can’t be

The being that they thought I was
they met the part of me I lost
I used to be a person now I’m always fucking nervous

And I won’t know how to function
If I’m always high or drunk when
on the floor I said I sort it out but chaos is compulsion
And this feeling’s an infection
Of the mind so my perception’s always telling me I’m wrong but it’s the art of self destruction
I do so well

I’m sorry for the way I’ve been
And the promises that I tried to keep
In times of desperation I could not bare to be seen
I gave up booze a month ago
At least that’s what I said to everyone
can’t come out I don’t feel like myself
I don’t wanna be outside when I’m not well

And I think back to a year before
I would screw up but still feel remorse
I do the same today but now I don’t feel anything

every man is an island
every person’s a universe
Trapped inside their head and so I guess
that’s why I’m getting worse
that’s why I’m cancelling my plans
cause I’ll feel safer on my own land
and this shoreline I am sure will feel like home
if not then I’ll be better on my own.

credits

from The Half​-​Arsed Defeat, released December 30, 2019

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Ren Stedman Southend On Sea, UK

Ren Stedman, he's the acoustic guy who looks metal, has a buzzing vocal, plays from the marrow of his bones and will rip your heart out with his honesty. A fierce, fable wielding force of acoustic punk poetry.

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